Why do the girls always love the bad boys?
It is a phenomenon I remember from my school days with much pain, and recognise all too frequently in the classroom. "I'm going out with Andy! Ooh I love him! Sir, is he the naughtiest in your class?" The boys who get all the ladies' attention are the ones they perhaps should reject as emotionally retarded.
It is well known that girls will always go for the alpha males. The interesting question is why do girls identify bad boys as the alphas? In the long run, it is the quiet, shy, intellectual creatures - the dorks - who band together to get on calmly with their school work, who have the highest chance of achieving financial or political power, and who will make the more sensitive partners and more stable parents. Yet girls and young women largely love the rogues.
I have a couple of theories about this. Both are actually fairly obvious, but it is interesting to note how our modern society turns the tables on the bad boys, and makes the dorks into a more intelligent choice of partner.
The first theory relates to the ancient instinctual mechanisms by which girls select a mate. In a more primitive society, as one might witness in a group of apes, the alpha males are essentially the ones who can bully the others into submission. These individuals will be physically strong and selfish by nature. In order to fight to the top, they will be unafraid to challenge the incumbent leaders. These characteristics are all displayed by bad boys, with their machismo, play fighting, rebellious spirit, and disinterest in who they upset in getting their way. In a primitive society, the bad boys would indeed be the successful males, with the most power to support and protect their partners and progeny.
The second theory is about the ability to build relationships. Dorks obviously have a lot of trouble with this, where bad boys move in with an easy charm. This most likely stems from the respective levels of self-consciousness versus self-confidence. A thoughtful person will naturally gravitate towards introspection. In constantly questioning the self, one undermines one's ability to function confidently; there are too many 'what if's to ponder, leading to stiltedness or inaction. Introspective behaviour is never attractive. A bad boy has no such worries. They can roll into a relationship in a simple, honest and open manner.
These two ancient aspects of attraction are overturned by the workings of the modern world. To function in a large and complex, information driven society, one requires the ability to compromise with others, to defer short-term gains for longer-term growth, to conceptualise and theorise and plan. All of these are skills of the dork, but are way beyond the scope of the bad boy's simplistic behaviour. Furthermore, the easy charm which helps a bad boy to open a relationship, makes it harder for them to carry it on. Their apparent confidence stems not from genuine self-belief but from an inability to understand and control their own behaviour, which can eventually cause problems in a relationship.
The smart girls wait until the dorks grow up a bit, and then bag the best ones for keeps.
